I know…I’m a douche… and there’s a billion articles on how to take down the Scarab Tank…but this is my version!…and if your don’t like it, go screw yourself!!!
For those of you who don’t have Halo 3, a Scarab is an insect like armored tank used by the Covenant troops (very similar to the walkers in The Empire Strikes Back). The first time it appears it will come out of nowhere and almost step on you (I actually got crushed the first time). Here’s some helpful tips to defeat this metal monster. (more…)
Bill Gates officially has more money than God! I’m not f*#king kidding! Halo 3 has broken the record for the biggest entertainment launch in [American] history. Apparently Microsoft has estimated that they made 170 million dollars (in the US alone) in the first 24 hours of the Halo 3 release. I’m tellin’ ya, gaming is a force to be reckoned with in the entertainment industry. (more…)
Dude…I feel queezy. I just finished my first five hours of Halo 3 game play and I need a rest. I finally got Halo 3 this morning…and yes I had to wait in line to get it…and yes, the same dude that wouldn’t sell to me last night was working the register. He was the only one there (in the store)….guess he’s the low man on the Gamestop totem poll huh. (more…)
You F*#ked Me!!! You f*#king pencil neck, curly haired sh*t head! Earlier today I specifically called the Gamestop Marina del Rey store and spoke to a guy…I think his name was Doug… and he said that at 9pm they will start accepting payments for your copy of Halo 3…then you could wait in line to pick it up at midnight. I asked how many copys were waiting there for pick up. Dick brain said that there are probable a couple hundred copies on hold for pre-sales. Inferring that there will probably be a line at midnight, potentially a couple of hundred people. So I asked how late will they be open. Dick head said 2am. So I said that I could (if I wanted to) show up later than midnight and avoid the lines. He said they would sell until 2am, and they had plenty of copies for all pre-sold customers.
So I decided to go at 1am to be sure that the line would be finished. I first pound an ice coffee at 1am then I drove to the GS Marina. I get to the f*#king store and the door is closed and locked (someone was in there paying for his game) with a guard standing in front of of it. I knocked and the guard screamed “CLOSED!!!!!” I said that I was told the store would be open until 2am. The guard said “They ran out!!”. The Dick head that was ringing up the dude in the store (pencil neck, curly haired sh*t head) said”Tell him to come back tomorrow!”. Obviously, that f*#king guard lied to me (”They ran out!!”) and the pencil neck, curly haired sh*t head was too f*@king lazy to take 5 minutes to sell me the f*$king game.
F*@K YOU GAMESTOP MARINA DEL REY!!! You lying f*#king assholes!! I am so f*@king pissed off!!!!!!! I hope some day that sh*t head in the store (that didn’t let me in) is working for me on a film set some day so I can fire his stupid ass in front of everyone!!! I will get you someday asshole…mark my word…and it won’t be pretty. I will take pride in screwing you over!
Jump on the bandwagon folks…It’s another article about Halo 3’s release. Well… What the f*#k else is there to write about at this point and time (the day before the official release)!!! The funny thing is that this article is a set up piece for tomorrow’s Halo 3 review article (ha ha ha ha haaaaaaa!).
So I’m going over to Gamestop tonight ( What a f*#kin’ geek I am) to pick up my copy of Halo 3….then I will proceed to play this game all…night…looooong! Well, as long as I can stay up at least. In my old days I might have just picked up some drugs that would help me stay up all night…but tonight it’s just me and Master Chief (how gay am I). I guess I’m an old fart….or I’m just over that nasty drug thing.
So wait there, at the edge of your seat for tomorrows article entitled “How did I Live Life….Before Halo 3″.
Now… enjoy this segment of Mythbusters, busting the myth that pretty girls don’t fart
