What does this picture have to do with this story?… I don’t know?… It’s f*#king funny! Jeez… doesn’t anyone have a sense of humor nowadays?

What was I writing about?… Oh!

So I was on topix.net and saw this juicy rumor. The new Xbox live dashboard is supposedly coming out later this month. I can’t tell you if it’s true or gaming geek fantasy, but here’s the details from the snagwiremedia.com article:

VGChartz has rolled out a gigantic rumor concerning the launch of the new Xbox 360 dashboard which claims Microsoft will have a five-hour televised countdown beginning September 25th at 7PM Eastern leading up to the arrival of the New Xbox Experience and the software-based relaunch of the console at midnight. Reportedly, G4 will cover the event exclusively and Live members will be able to stream it from their console.
The rumor grows by claiming that three new components of the New Xbox Experience will be revealed when the update happens at midnight.
First is a partnership with Sirius Radio, allowing owners to access the satellite radio for a “modest monthly fee.” Second there’s the music store page; supposedly iTunes for your Xbox. Lastly, there’s the “mad lib” page, which your guess is as good as anyone else’s at this point.
On top of that, VGChartz source claims Microsoft will announce a dozen new titles– either “exclusive or first”–on the 360, including Assassin’s Creed 2, Mass Effect 2, a new Conker game and a pair of new Halo titles. If that wasn’t enough, six free original Xbox games will also be available to download, with the original Halo being one of them.

Wow! They forgot to mention that everyone gets a free trip to Cabo with Carmen Electra at a luxury clothing optional resort. I’m not sure I believe all of this, but who knows? Here’s what joystiq.com.

“The whole thing sounds like madness (and fanboy conjecture), but given the Xbox 360’s slipping sales, a mega-event relaunch might just be the reset button the company needs for the console best-known to general consumers for the RRoD. The whole rumor isn’t even that insane when we recall how Microsoft went all-out for the first Xbox 360 launch and, if Microsoft execs are to be believed, this is “an entirely new Xbox” made possible by ‘the magic of software.’”

Well, let’s hope that this is true… F*#k Microsoft!… They owe us!!! Remember the Red Ring of Death?

And now for the METAL! White Chapel anyone?

So if you read my last post you saw that Sony’s PS3 firmware update 2.40, f*#ked up some peoples consoles. Boy…would I be pissed as sh*t! Almost as pissed as my Xbox 360 getting the Ring of Death? Well lets not go overboard. Life without a gaming console for a month f*#king sucked (especially since I was midway through The Darkness)! Well get ready Sony fanboys… firmware update 2.41 is coming your way mid week. It supposedly will fix everything… not your love life (or mine for that matter… boo hoo hoo). Check this little snippet from PS3fanboy.com

CVG has contacted Sony Customer Support to find out exactly what is going on with 2.40. It’s all been very quiet since the firmware got pulled off the servers, but apparently a fixed version will be available “midweek.” Sony has yet to officially confirm that this is the case but, if true, they should do so within the next day or two. Hopefully 2.41 will fix any of the issues that were present in 2.40. We’ve had absolutely no problems so far, what about you? Let us know in our latest

Well, it seems to be just a rumor now. Will Sony be able to redeem itself? Who knows… Only time will tell! Until then, make sure you wash your hands before you masturbate Poindexter!!!!!!!

Sony’s High on Fire!!!!!!! Dud’s got some big teeth!

I know…I know…I’m a douche and you knew about this already!!!!! For those of you who actually get laid…and have a real life…you might want check this out:

Earlier today Rockstar Games released an update for Grand Theft Auto IV: Liberty City targeting a number of online multiplayer issues in the title.

The patch addresses a number of connectivity problems including freezes during certain game modes, and bugs in races and race lobbies. The new update also fixes certain exploits, including one that allowed players to inflate scores in the Cops ‘n Crooks game mode.

The latest update will be downloaded automatically upon starting up Grand Theft Auto IV on both PS3 and Xbox 360. Here are the full patch notes:

* Fixed an issue where players were unable to enter or exit vehicles in GTA Race.
* Fixed an issue where scripted vehicles were causing games to unexpectedly crash.
* Improved reliability and frequency of PS3’s online leaderboard updates.
* Fixed a rare hang some players encountered when moving from a Race or GTA Race lobby into gameplay.
* Fixed a hang that would occur when players were switching teams during the countdown in the lobby.
* Fixed an issue where players were able to get ridiculously high scores from Cops ‘n Crooks matches.
* Changed GTA Race and Race so that the last player remaining always receives a reward of $250.
* Fixed an issue where spectating players would prevent the game from finishing.
* Fixed an issue where players were unable to spectate in Round 2 of Cops ‘n Crooks games.
* Changed countdown timer in lobby so that it no longer resets when new players join a game.
* Changed the kick option so that kicked players are no longer brought back to single player.

Sounds cool to me!… I haven’t tried the online experience yet. “What the f*#ck are you waiting for WHISTLE DICK!!!” Well Niko, may be it’s time to boot up and update GTA IV… right f*#king now! ha ha ha ha haha hha ha haaaaaaaaaaa!

Taken from snagwiremedia.com

Now for some KATAKLYSM…. Bitches!

Xbox Live is celebrating St. Patrick’s Day in their own kick ass way by releasing some traditional Irish music for Guitar Hero III (GH III). Well.. not really traditional! On March 15th (St Patty’s day) Activision will be releasing three songs from the Irish / American / Punk sensations The Dropkick Murphys. If your not familiar with this band look them up on the web… They kick ass! When I hear their music I want to drink a lot and start a fight with the asshole next to me that gave me that dirty look! Well he didn’t really… I was just drunk and looking to be a dick… but that’s besides the point. Instead of watin’ in line for hours, getting drunk and starting fights at your local Irish pub (and risking jail time or a visit to the emergency room), log on to Xbox Live and download the free Dropkick pack… which consists of three songs:
* “Famous for Nothing”
* “Flannigan’s Ball”
* ” Johnny, I Hardly Knew Ya”

Get drunk at home and bang the sh*t out of your GH III guitar instead… You Crazy Rock Star Leprechaun! Top ‘O’ the Morning to ya! He he he heeeee!

Ign.com article I stole this from

By Pole, I mean Pole Position (Namco) you sicko! Is there anyone out there who has heard of this game? All you young gaming geeks may not remember this classic arcade game but this was the first great driving game. Anyways, a new version on this game is being released for the iPod. Check this article out that I found on ign.com

January 22, 2008 – Namco’s classic arcade racer Pole Position now roars across iPods screens in a brand-new remixed edition, available immediately on iTunes. The update includes refreshed 3D visuals, themed graphics, and new cars. The download is $4.99 and is compatible with the third-gen iPod nano, iPod Classic, and fifth-gen iPod.

Pole Position Remix includes the ability to listen to your own music library while tearing up the five included tracks. The in-game billboards also draw from the album art in your collection.

Dude! You’ll be able to rock out to the hardest core music while you play this game… RAD!

Here’s some hard core music from Demiricous for your driving pleasure!

Technorati Tags: Pole Position, Namco, gaming, classic arcade, iPod, racer, screens, remixed edition, iTunes, update, 3D visuals, graphics, new cars, third-gen, nano, , Classic, fifth-gen, music library, tracks, album art, hard core music, Demiricous

1. When booting up a game you have the option of skipping the Dashboard bulls*#t and going straight to the game (for all you instant gratification fans)

2. You can now queue up to 6 different downloads at once or download while playing a game. (so you can spend money faster in the Xbox Marketplace)

3. Now, there will be no interuption when playing music (whether off the Xbox or streaming from your PC) when you switch from dashboard to game or vice versa. (That’s cool)

4. The did a lot with the DVD player, including better controls (FF, Rew, Slo mo etc.) and improved output.

Click here to see a list of all the changes

Sounds pretty f*#king boring huh. I guess one by one the changes seem like nothing, but as you check down the list of the 125 changes its all for a better gaming/multi-media experience for all you Xbox 360 owners. This update will be free to all Silver and Gold members of Xbox Live. I don’t know how much it is for all you lower forms of life that are regular members. And remember kids don’t do drugs…”Boot up, don’t shoot up!”
Click here for more info

Technorati Tags: Xbox 360 Spring Cleaning Update, Xbox Live, 125 new features, booting up, Dashboard, queue up to 6 different downloads, Xbox Marketplace, PC, game, DVD player, gaming, multi-media, Silver, Gold members